Something

Poetry is not my forte, and I am rarely grabbed by the words of a poem. I do however find a lot of meaning from song lyrics, which to me are a modern form of this ancient art.

I believe some songs if written out like a poem sound just as beautiful as when you hear them with the music. Something by The Beatles, written by George Harrison, is for me one of the single most beautiful love songs ever written, a view that was also shared by Frank Sinatra. The words are so passionate, yet so tender. This is a song you could fall in love to, but at the same time question how scary it is to fall in love with somebody (it is bloody terrifying). 

Music is my poetry, and I look to lyrics for guidance and support, the way others may look to novels and poems. This, in my opinion, is my favourite lyrical poem:

Something in the way she moves,
Attracts me like no other lover.
Something in the way she woos me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

Somewhere in her smile she knows,
That I don't need no other lover.
Something in her style that shows me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

You're asking me will my love grow,
I don't know, I don't know.
Stick around, and it may show,
But I don't know, I don't know.

Something in the way she knows,
And all I have to do is think of her.
Something in the things she shows me.
I don't want to leave her now.
You know I believe and how.

Stooshe - Fuck Me

This song has been stuck in my head for about 2 days now and I love it, despite it being both filthy and slightly rubbish all at the same time.

This is definitely a way for a new girl band to get noticed. There is a clean version called 'Love Me' which simply replaces the word 'fuck' with 'love', yet leaves all the other sexually explicit lyrics in. Brilliant. 

Friendship Bi-Polar

I have recently been thinking about life, people, and just generally having a think (it severely hurt my brain). I came to the realisation that some people can both help and hinder your life. There are a number of people that I know who both bring me intense happiness, but also make me feel so incredibly sad. I have come to call this phenomena 'friendship bi-polar'.

Friendship bi-polar is an odd experience. You have these friends who you can't let go from your life even though they have the ability to ruin it on a daily basis. They are like a drug you can't stop taking. You feel that if you let this person go you are losing a part of yourself. But why can you not stop being friends with this person? If, like me, you can make friends fairly easily, losing one friend isn't too big a deal. But yet these friends have a constant grip on you and you find it impossible to leave. It's like mental abuse where when it's someone else you are sat screaming 'WHY ARE YOU NOT LEAVING THEM'.

If, like I have previously, you get away from one of these friends, make the break and cut all ties, you are left with this empty space, but one that leaves you a lot happier than you were before. It is always weighing up the good and the bad in these friends, and seeing if making your life partially miserable is worth it, or if you'd rather be miserable that they are no longer in your life.

I have suffered from friendship bi-polar since I have been about 10 years old. I am not sure how I attract these friends, but once I let them in I find it so very hard to let them go, despite the effects they have on my mental capacity and my health. I almost find sometimes that if some form of friendship rehab was available I would be there in a shot. Taking a complete break from the world and the people who confuse you on a daily basis and make your life miserable and agitated.

Most people are probably wondering why if I am thinking and complaining about people why I am friends with them still, but it is not that simple. I physically can't stop myself, and sometimes I'd rather be with someone who makes me sad than not have them in my life at all. I guess I will be suffering from friendship bi-polar for a number of years to come.

Scenes From A Teenage Killing

Last night I watched a documentary on BBC3 called Scenes From a Teenage Killing. One word: wow.

The documentary lists every teenager murdered or killed in a violent way in 2009. It is absolutely heartbreaking. Throughout the programme the viewer meets a number of the families of those who have been killed, and get an insight into how the family copes after such a tragic event. One family in particular just broke my heart. David Cox was 18 and suffered from autism and who had the mental age of an eight year old. His parents had recently moved from a less than desirable area of Leicester to a nicer part of Doncaster, but it was to be here that David was killed. He was walking home with his family when he got in an altercation with some boys who punched him and knocked him to the ground. This was enough to take David's life. Gone in a moment of madness. The boys involved calmly walked away and left his family to deal with the death of their beloved son.

In the documentary you can see that his father Clive's heart is completely broken and he is not coping at all with what has happened. His wife Heidi is trying to hold the family together and the strain being put on their relationship is obvious to see. Life will never be nice or normal for this family ever again due to the stupidity of those boys involved.

The programme did not only focus on the murder of boys involved in some kind of 'gang' related incident. It also looked at the murder of Jessica McCagh who was murdered by her boyfriend after having petrol poured on her and then being set alight. It is still not clear why he murdered her, but in one last moment of degrading behaviour he held their bedroom door shut so she could not escape. Viewers get to meet her father, Garry. He was the last person to see her alive and tells of the last words his daughter said to him which were, ‘I don’t want to die, Dad'. Garry still has flashbacks of that night and has turned to drink to help him cope with his loss, which then has a knock on effect to the rest of his family who although physically present, appear to have lost their father as well. 


This documentary was so thought provoking and moving. I had tears in my eyes throughout, mainly just through seeing the profound strength that the families had after their child/brother/daughter had been murdered. Many of these killings were pointless. Some were over a lack of respect, some were random, some were pre-meditated, but each was equally just as horrible as the last. The families involved were so brave to allow cameras in at such a horrific time in their lives, but many did so to hopefully stop such senseless killings from happening again.


Heartbreaking, but powerful stuff.